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“Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own”

The American Poet and writer Ella Wheeler Wilcox

A strong marriage or relationship has deep in its roots ‘laughter”, it’s the best way of staying together, the ability to make each other happy and laugh together, is a fundamental requirement for the longevity of any relationship.

You see the oddest couples about, he or she might be very attractive and their partners could be quite ordinary on the surface, but if you ask them what primarily drew them together to answer is often that they laugh with each other.

Laughter has to be shared between you, laughter means happiness, not sarcasm by one partner against the other as this will lead to hurt, disappointment and eventually disaffection.  The world is a hard enough place so humor is what keeps the balance in your lives, laughter at small things that happen every day, means that you are sharing together in a way you would not do with anyone else.

The sharing of small things, sometimes inconsequential things, builds an intimacy between the two of you that surpasses all of the other emotions and eventually bonds the two of you into a rock steady unit.

I know it might sound a dumb statement to make that ‘laughter” is the best way of staying together, but all of the people that I know who have been together in a happy marriage or relationship, have this aura about them based on their ability to make their partner laugh and therefore happy. It is their secret, they could not explain it if they wanted to, its just there, it has always been there between them.

I guess what I am trying to say is that when the right person comes along, I certainly did, you will just know because - they make you laugh.   

 

 
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I still love my ex what can I do now?

If you keep going over and over in your mind “I still love my ex” you will need to try to figure out what can I do now? What does it all mean? After all you two shared a loving relationship so it is not unnatural for there to be some latent feelings of ‘love’ remaining with you for your ex. Does this feeling you have mean that you can get back with your ex.

The fact that you still feel “I still love my ex” is great in so far as you feel that you are still holding on to some or all of the love that once bound the two of you together. This is no doubt caught up with your memories of all the good times you shared together during your marriage or relationship. Be careful that you do not get too sentimental about these feelings, because you may be thinking “I still love my ex what can I do now” but what you may really be asking is “I still love my ex, does my ex want me?” Take a little time, or a lot of time depending how quickly you can get your thoughts together in some sort of order.  Then step back from your feelings and try to work out if there is any chance that the two of you belong together again.

Take it slow and see how your feelings stay with you, it may be that you mainly miss the friendship that you shared, just let you thoughts stream freely there is no need to work on them, eventually the truthfulness of your thoughts will become obvious to you. It maybe that these feelings you have of love turn to fondness then friendship, if your ex feels the same then that’s a win, win situation for you, because true friends are hard to find. 

If your feelings remain strong and you are still in love with your ex, then you need to find out how your ex feels about you, do not rush into it take you time, cultivate friendship with your ex, then let it take its course see how things develop. Try not to be pushy by trying to move things along too quickly, it will soon become obvious to you both as to whether you what to have another go at mending your old love.

You may decide together that you need to seek counselling or relationship advice, as it is definite possibility the neither of you have a clear idea of how and when things started to go wrong. There are many kinds of professional advice that you can seek, maybe you could make a start by seeking online help. Frankly, that's what I did when we had problems. We followed a plan authored by T 'Dub' Jackson. When I thought my cause was almost hopeless and I was dying inside, it hauled us up by our bootstraps and helped us get our love back. The advice we got gave us a fresh start made our relationship stronger.

Saying “I still love my ex” is the best start, the hard work that you both put in to re-igniting your passion for each other, combined with the advice you receive form your counselling, will soon enable you to change from thinking “I still love my ex” to saying “I love my ex”  
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You had a falling out and they walked out on you, it does not have to be awkward to get them to come back to you, so you can have a second chance. You need to commit yourself to getting your girlfriend/boyfriend back.
 
How long ago they went, days or weeks, is not  a factor, the way you go about it is the same. Just brush up your self esteem and confidence and follow this path, I have had good results with it when I have talked it through with the people I have advised.

Figuring out what went wrong is always the trickiest bit because you need to work out what part you had in the split, if you do not get it right in your mind, then you will not know what you need to apologise for so that you can make things better. Your relationship was between the two of you and you were both involved in the split, so be truthful with your plans and be prepared to take the blame for your share of what went wrong and have a second chance.

Time is a great healer, use this time to move through the event s that lead to the split, what did your ex find about you that they disliked about the way you behaved?  Can you fix they way you behaved towards them? It is almost always hard to figure this out on your own, get your support group of family and friends to help you.  If the problem is difficult for you to handle you might want seek out professional advice.

A professional advisor can be found at your church, in the phone book or if you prefer to seek advice in private try the two online guides that I recommend on my site. They will help you to see the problems the way your ex will see them, this could be crucial to getting them back. The advice you get will help you to pinpoint the ways you need to try to change your behaviour, do not be a push over and take the blame for everything.

Once you have decided on what your share of the split was, and the possible behaviour on your part then you can make an effective apology. There are two sides to every apology the first is to say you’re sorry and secondly to let your ex girlfriend/boyfriend understand that you know what you did wrong and that it will not happen again. The possibility of a second chance  show you really care for them so make your apology from your heart. Your ex will see then that you are making a real effort and that you are serious about getting back together, then there will be hope.

Be honest and sincere, speak from your heart and let your love shine through then a second chance will be far more likely.
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Breaking up is so hard to do for you and your ex, the tangled emotions and the hurt you both feel takes a lot of personal strength to overcome. It feels at the beginning that you will never be able to do it, the heartbreak is crippling you and that is what makes it difficult to handle. It is a big world and remember you are not the first nor the last to be going through this, you and your ex will survive the breakup.

The first stage in surviving the breakup is to get through the pain, do not bottle it up you cannot go through life without feeling pain at least once. You need to pas the pain so that you can move on to a new life. Breaking up with a loved one is like a death in the family, so allow yourself time to scream and shout, try writing down how you feel this will give you the time to think the breakup through and deal with it. Dealing with the pain is the beginning of your recovery.

Now that you have thought through your pain and calmed down, then with a clear mind you can see where things went wrong and that the decision to breakup, for whatever reason, was probably the right decision. When you have got to this point you are ready to move on, clear things up with your ex so you can both come to terms with the breakup, with such breakups there is a more than even chance that the relationship is really over.

If you both reach the almost inevitable decision that the break up is final, then you need to work on the separation of your lives and offer to give back gifts that you gave each other, give back things that are in each other’s homes. You must do this now, I know it is hard and full of emotional pitfalls but if you don’t do it now things will come back to bite you later in life.

The next and final step is a more or less symbol breaking the final ties of the relationship, this is done by deleting messages on your computer, destroying any letters or notes, get rid of any photos you have so that you have a clean sheet to move on with, this is all for your benefit in the long run.

Your long term survival will be softened and made more bearable if you gather round you people who care for you like family and friends as a support group. The survival will still be hard to do but with the love and support of your group you will be able to move on to better things

 
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