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Are you having relationship troubles, well everyone does at some stage so don’t stress to much, this article will help you. So to get over the temporary problems (all problems are temporary unless you ignore them) you have to focus on your relationship which means you have to focus on your life. You need to try making your mind sharp and clear so that you can see exactly what is going wrong and more importantly what you can do to fix things between the two of you.

ONE              

The way that life is at the moment we are all busy, sometimes too busy, which means that  we all have a tendency to misuse the margins of our lives. The margin is the space between your load (everything you have to do) and your limit, this is the space where your relationships live and breath, so do not waste it. Focus on what is important to your relationship if you become selfish and unfocussed unfocused you will end up wasting opportunities and will probably end up with problems in your relationship. In other words, when you are not doing stuff you must do, spend the rest of your time focussed on your relationship which equals one happy couple.

TWO             

The best way of avoiding problems or for that matter to mend your problems is to make your relationship the center of your life, easy to say?, what it means is that a happy relationship is based on unchanging stability, just look out for each other. If this stops then it may be that the two of you have become off center possibly concentrating on net worth rather that self worth, everybody needs money to live but try not to make that the all consuming passion of your lives – love displaces worry.

THREE         

Face your own temptations, temptations are all around us and in a healthy happy relationship all temptations are handled together, just talking about them with each other helps them to fade away. If you do not, cannot or will not face them then you really will have relationship problems, get help or advice so that you can face them.

FOUR            

Communication should be the most important focus for any couple, tell each other what you love about the other and also use this time to show your love, remember actions speak louder than words. One of the best ways of mutual communication is to make each other look and fell good about themselves, when you talk to each other.

Focus on relationship and keep it strong, if it weakens then take the time to go back to step one and work your way through the 4 steps and re-focus your life
 
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Beating depression is a very difficult condition to overcome, it is an awful thing to watch the person you love starting to exhibit signs of depression. They are going through a very dark stage in their lives without, in all probability understanding why, it feels endless with no way out and many couples’s relationships crack under the strain. 

Your partner while under the influence of these depressed feelings seems, to you, to be unable to appreciate the better things in life that you are trying to provide. They behave in an illogical way and you are tempted to feel that your efforts are wasted, but this is not true. Because you are with them they feel as though they can cope better although they may not be capable at this stage of communicating that to you.

 The fact that you have remained with them, means more than you will ever know, though because of their condition they may try to force you to leave them, this is difficult for you to deal with as it may be the exact opposite of what they really want and need.

 I you decide to stay then you would be best advised to found out as much as you can about your partners mental condition. By gaining an understanding of what it is you may be able to work out what brought these terrible feelings on. The fear of perceived failure is a common cause most often happening when they loose a job or something happens that they feel was not their fault and so they should not be in this situation, feeling that it is unfair that they should be here. Whatever started this depressive state it can quickly escalate even if the relationship between you is strong.

If you are not careful taking care of someone with these depressed moods can spread to you, the fact that you have learned as much as you can about your partners condition should make it easier for you to be aware of your own state of mind.

If your partner’s condition seems to be deepening or if you find that you are both starting to show symptoms of the condition then seek help form a psychologist or counselor, professional help is often essential to break the hold of this condition. The depression will be helped by your constant attention but this can be very warring on you, if this is the case then try to step back and take a break to renew you energy to go on.

Sometimes the cause of the condition can be historic in that your partner could have had a bad breakup in the past which they have never fully recovered from, they may live with irrational fear that this will happen all over again with your relationship, even though it may be a strong secure relationship. Seek help from a relationship counselor as often the strain brought about in one partner by the depression of the other means that without help the relationship will break, counseling will restore the balance.

A possible sweet solution - scientific studies that dark chocolate eaten in moderation has a multitude of health benefits not only for the heart but also for the brain as it contains theobromine, caffeine and other stimulants and help with a feeling of wellbeing, but more importantly recent research has revealed that the presence of serotonin in dark chocolate acts as an anti-depressant. 

Never give up where there is love there is hope, just have faith in the help you are giving and that it will allow you to overcome this condition. Seek professional help as early and as often as you can, faith and love will show you the way to beating depression with a strong relationship.

 
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When you are in love with someone then you never think about the stages of a relationship, This is particularly true if the relationship is new and fresh, nor will you give them much thought when you are concentrating on reconciliation after a breakup. However if you understand the stages of a relationship and the interplay between them, it will make you appreciate where you are and the possible outcomes for you.

Being with someone new, as with all the new things we get in life, is exciting so the first stage of a relationship will be full of romance. The first buzz of interest between you, the first date, the first kiss, getting to know each other, it is all heady stuff. Each of you keen to impress the other and both being careful how you treat the other this is the wooing and romance stage, an emotional high for both of you that rarely lasts more than a few weeks or months if it is really special.

This initial stage is also know as the “honeymoon”, when everything is fresh and new. You know all the romantic things like spring is in the air, flowers smell more beautiful, you laugh at each others jokes, you smile more, your new partner is perfect despite their little faults at this stage  that is how it really feels. During this stage everything is and should be fun, a new adventure and exciting.

Then reality strikes home and life can get in the way of romance, many couples how are fixated on excitement and romance never get past this stage.

The second stage is often referred to as the “top dog” stage. This is when the freshness of the initial period wears a bit thin this typically happens about six months or so into the relationship, you tend to pick up on your others tiny, now possibly not so tiny, faults. It is also at this stage where life takes over and the relationship your relationship starts to get serious.

By this stage you are both trying to impose your needs onto the relationship, and you are possibly starting to notice that the others needs seem to always come first. If this is true then slow down take a step away from the intensity of the relationship look carefully at your partner’s tiny faults and look to yourself to see if you have them as well.

Understanding and compromise is the way to get through this stage together, couples who get to know and understand each others needs, and make compromises to accommodate the other, have the best chance of surviving this stage. This unfortunately is often the last stage for many couples because instead of compassion and compromise they seek control and try to chance the other person to their needs. This often leads to conflict which is exaggerated by forgetting that you have problems too, talk to each other about your true needs, be understanding of each other and your relationship will make it through this difficult stage

The third of the relationship stages is the consolidation stage, where you both have got the measure of the other, you like what you see, most importantly you accept the other for what they are and cease the desire to make changes in them. I you get this far and you are still in love then you have an amazing relationship – well done, if on the other hand you cannot agree on compromises then this is probably as far as it goes for you both. 

The final stage is the contentment and commitment stage you have learnt to appreciate what the other has to offer and they have fully accepted you for what you are. You are both content with each other and are now prepared to commit to each other long term.

It may take a while to reach this point with many couple fluctuating between the later stages of a relationship, but by understanding each stage you will be able to understand what is going on in your relationship

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Relationships take many forms such as those of friendship, of family, with co-workers and your love of your partner to mention but a few, however these are probably most important to all of us. Though all of these relationships are widely differing they all have the same basis, that of trust and when it is broken to make an unhappy relationship the 4 step cure is the same.

Step 0ne

This primary step has the deceptively simple title “forget the past – focus on the future”, this is not only a significant starting point, it is also the most difficult thing to achieve. We are all human when it comes to forming our relationships and if they go bad we all suffer and become unhappy. It is human nature that we have a tendency to become ‘emotional garbage collectors”, collecting all manner of emotions good and bad, which we feel we have to keep hold of. In order start to move on in an unhappy relationship then you need to “forget the past- focus on the future”, you may feel that you cannot do this on your own and some type of professional counselling is required you can start with online help or if you attend a church see your pastor.

Step Two

Give up your grudges, try never to use the term “you” in your conversations or arguments with your partner, for instance you might be tempted to say something like “you always do that……………….”, this is making an argument into a confrontation. Confrontation is something you do not need to get involved in as it is a step onto a downward spiral, think in terms of “I” and “we” in your thoughts and conversations this way you have the best chance of avoiding confrontation. Referring to your partner as “You” use in conversation engenders resentment by your partner, because in doing this you are looking to others to meet your needs. The use of “I” and “we” means that you are taking steps to fulfil your own emotional needs and stepping away from confrontation.

Step Three 
 
Give up your grief, in saying this I mean do not become a prisoner of the pain caused by a relationship gone or going bad. Thinking or saying things like “if only he/she had done this……………..” means that you are not dealing with your pain merely trying to justify it. This can lead to another downward step, that is when you start to feel “I don’t think I will ever get over this…………..”, you are then sealing the pain in by building a wall round you heart to keep further from more hurt. In doing that you are trapping the hurt within yourself, take ownership of the problem, bring it out in the open and deal with it, seek help if you feel you need it.

Step Four

Give up your guilt, this is the final stage, accept what cannot be changed or said, do not burden yourself with guilt over these past unchangeable things. Turn you guilt loose by releasing your emotions that are holding you back, face your partner, forgive yourself and work on your problems together, get together and try. 
 
Remember the game is only half over however badly the first half went, you have the second half to change things with you new renewed emotions. You can rebuild an unhappy relationship with these 4 steps.
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