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The way things started
Quite often there are times in your relationship when you feel that you are failing, however these failings can be used as stepping stones to make your relationship stronger more successful. Through failure we often have the opportunity to learn the lessons that help us to grow, so never give up just keep trying to make your relationship stronger.

The secret to success is to keep trying, Michael Jordan the basket ball super star missed far more shots than he ever made during his career does anybody remember? Of course not they just remember his constant striving for the next basket. So that’s the way you need to be with your relationship keep striving for more strength and closeness in your relationship.

All relationships go through periods of stress that leads to problems, please remember during these times you are not alone and however bad you think things are the vast majority of couples manage to get over their problems. Keep trying. Just because you have not found a solution to your problem doesn’t mean that there is no solution.

Sit down together somewhere quiet where you will not be disturbed, switch off your cell phones, and be prepared to be totally honest with each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship, when love was new, fresh and strong, then make a list, write it down if you can, of the promises you made too each other and the way you felt about those promises. Start by each making a list without the other seeing it, when you have finished take it in turns to read the list out.

This will give you both a clear idea of what is important to the other as it is human nature to remember most vividly those things that are closest to our hearts. Once you have finished you can combine the lists into one, starting with the things you agree on, then go onto the things you do not agree on – “Just because you have not found a solution to your problem doesn’t mean that there is no solution.” The list of things you do not agree on is where you will find your problem or problems, now is the time to try your best to solve your issues.

But, what can we do when our best is not enough? Is a question I often hear when friends have reached an impasse with their relationship. This is where the first part of your list comes into play. That was the part of the list that contains all the things you promised each other, when you first fell in love and that you still agree are important to you both.

Take these promises that you made each other and re-affirm them to each other, listen and co-operate with each other take your time go over each promise slowly and ensure that it still holds meaning to you both. Anticipate the feelings that these promises will bring flooding back and strive to retain that feeling in every aspect of your relationship.

If you get into this process but you feel that you cannot find a way out, do not be afraid to seek help. There are many sources that you can get or go to for relationship advice, your church will have some kind of reconciliation counselling available, there are professional relationship advisors that you can find in the yellow book. Or you can do what I did when I had a problem with my relationship I found this fantastic advice site “Magic of Making Up” by T Dub Jackson which we went through together and it helped us to work out our problems together and we are closer that ever now. Thanks T Dub.

 
 
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"Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is a very old saying and something that  in the  modern world of technology is often forgotten  in our relationships. We have almost come to the stage where we find it easier  to where we have more communication  using  our computers than with real relationships. The constant need for instantaneous replies  to our problems  and commands  means that we are slowly  loosing the know how to successfully  interact  with the ones we love.

When arriving home following a hard  day at work or when you have finished looking after the kids the best present you are able to  give to the one  you love is to listen, that’s  correct I did say listen! Get time for the two of you to have   a few moments   “us’ time, try starting  with something  easy  such as  “What was the best thing about your day?” it will allow  your partner the opportunity  to be frank about their day, in contrast to the every day “how was your day?” to which the reply can  be a one word answer - “Good”. In order that you can become  an attentive listener you must  ask open ended  questions that are unable to  be answered with a one word. Takes practice but the rewards  to your relationship are tremendous.

If you are going through these problems then as a follow-on from this article  take a look at ' how to get my ex back' for more assistance .

Try to  be a listener first, that shows you respect your partner views, at the same time as remembering that ninety percent  of communication involving you is unspoken , to put it another way body language, your partner will rapidly see that you are not actually listening to what they are saying. This will help to destroy  your relationship given time eventually  arriving at the point  when they say  “you never listen to what I have to say……”, or even  worse “you only listen when you want something…………..”

Do not  interrupt them or try to finish their sentences for them, give them time, it is a little known  fact that we can process words at a much greater rate than we can say them, so just listen, be interested in what they say, put them first .

Whether your relationship is just beginning or  well established~ long standing}  thebest way to keep it together  is to listen to what your partner has to say about whatever is important to them, then say something only when you have finished listening  and understood what they have been speaking to you about. Sounds very deep I know, but if make assumptions that you know  what they mean without listening properly and give an incorrect response then follow it with the worst put down – ‘I thought that’s what you meant……….”, will get you into a lot of trouble. Neglect things now and you may well end up asking how to get my ex back

Listening is such a small thing to offer your partner, but over the  years I have found that one of the commonest  relationship issues  is frequently signaled, in  a relationship advice session, when one or other of them says “She/he never listens to a thing I say………………”, which almost invariably  indicates  that when  they communicate  they do not give each other time to listen, you know the “two ears, two eyes & one mouth” thing, means speak half as much as your listen and look .

Whatever age we are we each of us need  to know that the other wants to listen to  what we have to say and show us the respect we need  by listening, it can about anything  like, their opinion on the latest film/game/book/TV show/what happened in their day ……..the list can be never ending and it is often  trivial stuff but they need  to share it with YOU, all you have to do is to LISTEN.

Keep you love for each other young by talking everyday  and above all LISTENING to what the other has to say, Successful communication means  a successful relationship – understand? For more advice how to get your ex back

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Just “get over the guy” your friends are all telling you, but hey its your life and you are having problems doing that. Does not matter who dumped who, it’s difficult to cut all ties after you had been close for so long, there is a gap in your life and in your heart and it is not easy to fill either in a hurry. But amazingly people do move on with their lives and here si n5 steps to help you get over the guy.

One     open up and free up your hurt feelings, its OK to cry a little, some find that it helps them to write it all done in their journal or pour out your feelings to a good friend, whichever way is good for you bring out the hurt while you get over the guy. 

Another good way that I have heard some people use is to write a NO send letter, pour out your feelings on the page, what was good and what was bad with the relationship, the things and times you enjoyed with him and finally the hurt you feel over the breakup. Keep the letter for a few hours like overnight, read it a few times then in the morning burn it, as the flames take the page they take your hurt it is a new day new beginning it is over and you are ready to move on.

Two   change your attitude, you’ve poured out your feelings and your hurt so it has gone, believe that cause if you think he will change (which he will not) and come back to you will find it really hard to get over the guy

Three  clear him and his things out of your life, if he wants them return everything you have of him, if he does not arrange to have them sent to him anyway, you can dump the small things like his toothbrush. Keep nothing that had anything to do with your relationship with him be ruthless clear your pace of all his things clear him from your life.

Four   it is time to get your circle of friends gather them round, till you meet the right one guys will come and go in your life but your girlfriends are forever. When you are in a hot relationship it is sometimes easy to ignore your friends without thinking for a time, now you need to reconnect they will help you get over the guy and get back your social life. Some of your friends will have gone through the same pain and they got over it by seeing them you can get your confidence back so that you can do it as well.

Five    try doing something you always wanted to do and never got round to it, find a club or class that allows you to pursue that interest. It will occupy your time, take your mind off him and your busted relationship, you will gain a new group of friends and in time you will come to be a new person. 

With your old friends and the new friends in your class or club moving on with your life will come naturally because you will have no time to look back.

Moving on is definitely the best way of getting over the guy.

 

 
 
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When you first fall in love, it is like springtime whatever time of year it is, all things seems more vital, and you feel great. Life becomes newer and more exciting, both of you hopeful that this relationship might be the love of your lives. The initial few weeks, months, or for the lucky ones, years seem to pass in blur, then life seem to get in the way.

Then things start to fade, at this stage one or both of you may start to ask themselves how to get back that first vivacity and how to win your old love back.

The realization that the relationship is not as wonderful as you had wished starts   as events takes hold, the once perfect liaison begins to turn a little disappointing. After the initial stage of the relationship passes, the burning flame of passion fades and becomes a damp ember. Now is the time when more than a few relationships and marriages start to see problems, it may seem that the ‘grass is greener….’ and an affair or divorce raises its ugly head.

For those who find this turn of events abhorrent and are not willing to let it go down any further or for those who have had this happen recently, then they need to seek advice.

Get advice about your relationship problems from family who have been through the same issues and got back together.  Simply ask yourself how to get your ex back, there are just 3 steps that will most likely take you back to Heaven.

1)      Speak to each other

This is a no brainer yet  the simplest  things are often  not given the credence they should be - Set  aside  some  time each  day, away  from any distractions (not often  the easiest  of things to achieve , but very important ) to talk about  anything ‘how was your day?’ is often  a good start , do not get too deep,  small talk is good . When you restart natural communications and start to feel at ease once more in one another’s company, then you can start to find out what went wrong.

2)      Take a trip together

Start from the beginning again , take a road  trip, possibly  to revisit  some places you used to visit  when love was new , or possibly somewhere  you always meant  to go but never had the chance . Being together and visiting places is a wonderful start towards seeking out how to get your ex back.

3)   Talk about ‘old times’

Remembering and recalling the things that you used to talk about when love was young, play music, see a film or read a book together, all the things that were vital   to the new relationship. Make it seem spontaneous, something that just happened.

Plan things to make them look to be almost accidental and unstructured, seemingly random events, such as coming across a long forgotten restaurant, accidently discover old memorabilia that will rekindle old memories. The rest is up to you, the key to finding out how to win your ex back, is to set things up for the two of you to fall in love again. As with all emotional upheavals, do not rush things take your time and most of all takes these 3 steps to heaven.